Gravity
by CBratter
Summary: Mulder is found to be alive at the end of This isn't Happening. Issues about his health, his reaction to Scully's pregnancy, and the role of work in his life complicate things. Basically spoilers for season 8. I suck at summaries. Just try reading it.
1. Gravity is Working Against Me

Hey there everyone, so here it goes. The X-files and the characters don't belong to me. I just used them for my own entertainment and yours as well, I hope. I also don't own the song Gravity by John Mayer, but I heard it while I couldn't come up with a title or chapter titles for the story so it became the inspiration.

This story came to me while I was contemplating how much Mulder and Scully's lives just seem to suck. I was watching Season Eight and thought to myself, what if Mulder had come back sooner?

So that is the basis here. It is a what might have happened if Mulder wasn't found to be dead at the end of This Isn't Happening. How will he react when he finds out Scully is pregnant and will he be able to let her and the baby be a priority in his life or will the X-files always be more important.

Anyway, it is clearly MSR as well as some angst and fluff thrown in for good measure. I hope you like it. Please give me feedback, good or bad. if it sucks I want to know so I can rewrite it. I also have a much fluffier version of this I was working on. If anyone is interested in seeing that please let me know.

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Gravity is Working Against Me

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Panic resonated in Dana Scully's voice as she ran towards the group standing around Fox Mulder's crumpled body. "How bad is he hurt?" she yelled again. When no one said anything she continued to push her way passed Doggett, to Mulder's side. It was both clear and, at the same time, completely unfathomable to her why everyone was just standing around. As she dropped to the ground beside Mulder, she reached out and touched his face. His body was cold and his skin felt clammy. Every ounce of her doctor-brain told her that Mulder was dead and there was nothing she could do about it but, her heart and her soul was screaming to her 'you have to save him'.

As she ran her hand over his cheek again she noticed something, he had moved. Had she imagined it, was it what she wanted to see or had he actually moved. She touched him again and leaning in, whispered to him, "Mulder?" This time it was palpable, his eye lids fluttered. "Oh my God," she gasped. Then she exclaimed loudly, so everyone could here, "He is alive. Get the medics over here, now!"

The next couple hours were some of the most chaotic and terrifying in Scully's life. By the time she finally found herself sitting by Mulder bedside in his hospital room, she was dead tired. Monica Reyes came quietly into the room. Without taking her eyes off Mulder, Scully said, "If you are here to try and convince me to go home, Agent Doggett and Skinner already tried. And I will tell you the same thing I told them, Mulder needs me here and I need to be here."

"I, actually, wasn't going to try and convince you to leave." Reyes replied. "I was just coming to bring you these." She handed Scully a small brown paper bag and a plastic shopping bag. "You should try and get some rest, if not for yourself, then for the baby." With a nod, Reyes left the room.

Scully opened the plastic bag, inside was a change of clothes. She smiled and set it aside, turning her attention to the paper bag. It contained a sandwich wrapped in deli paper and a drink. Staring into the bag Scully's brain sent her back in time. Sitting in the car with Mulder, seven years ago, in front of the house where Tooms was living. 'Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you.' She could hear his response in her mind, as if he were saying the words now, 'If there is an ice tea in that bag, could be love.' She pulled the drink bottle from the bag Reyes had given her and smiled to herself as she looked at the root beer bottle. Looking back on it, all those years ago, she was already fated to end up here; even then she would have followed Mulder to the ends of the earth.

Scully closed her eyes and dropped her head for a moment taking a deep breath. Then, she un-wrapped her sandwich and began to eat. As she finished and leaned back in the chair, she felt the baby move around. It was a newer sensation, something that had started to happen in the past couple days. She had heard that it took longer for women to feel the baby move with a first pregnancy, and she could understand why; it was barely a fluttering at first. She was also noticing that she was beginning to show but only slightly, she could still hide it if she chose her clothes carefully. "Sorry baby," she whispered, running a hand over her abdomen. "I forgot to eat like I should have today. I promise to do better tomorrow."

When she had finished the sandwich, Scully crumpled up the wrapper and threw it in the bag by her feet. She let her eyes drift back over Mulder's unconscious figure on the bed. Her sight settled on his face; he looked like hell. She couldn't imagine what he must have gone through. The scares and bruising looked exceptionally painful. Shifting her eyes, she examined the readings on the monitors registering his weak vital signs. "Damn it, Mulder," she muttered, reaching forward and taking hold of his hand. "You can't do this to me. I need you to be okay. I need you to wake up. I need you here. I need… you," she finished, leaning forward and resting her forehead against the edge of his bed.

The baby moved again. Scully felt a teardrop as it slid down her cheek. All her medical knowledge about pregnancy had come flooding back to her, as she experienced each stage of her own. She knew that in the next few weeks other people would be able to feel the baby move, too. Would Mulder?

Images constantly bombarded her; they had since the moment she had found out she was pregnant and heard he was missing. It was a cruel trick her mind played on her. She could picture Mulder sitting on the coffee table across from her as she sat on the couch; he was talking to her stomach, explaining something about baseball to the baby. She could see him smile as he rested a hand on her belly and felt the baby kick. The most common image she saw was him with his arms full of a tiny baby bundled in blankets, the biggest, sweetest Mulder smile on his face.

She squeezed her eyelids tight and whispered to herself, "Stop, stop it." She couldn't think about it. The moment she had seen him move, that small slight movement as he lie on the ground, she had let all the hopes she had pushed aside rush back, but what if he wasn't okay. The doctor hadn't even come to tell her anything yet. She let her mind focus on that; where was the damn doctor?

Eventually, she heard the door open and sat back up. The doctor was reviewing the chart as he entered the room. "I am sorry it took me so long, Agent Scully. We had a rush of trauma cases."

"How is he doing?" Scully interrupted. She really didn't care where the doctor had been, she just wanted news about Mulder.

"Despite having weak vitals and obviously being unconscious, Mr. Mulder actually appears to be in decent health. There is some obvious damage to his body, evident by the scarring. Other than that, I can't actually give you a reason for his state. It is possible that the trauma he faced has pushed him into unconsciousness and it is a matter of time to see if he wakes up." The doctor finished and looked back at the chart.

"So basically, you are telling me that you don't know why he isn't awake and there isn't anything you can do about it. We just have to wait it out?"

"Basically, yes. As a medical doctor yourself, I am sure you appreciate this type of situation. As you know, the body is often a mystery. I assure you that we are doing all we can to help Mr. Mulder. Please let a nurse know if you need anything." And with that, he left.

Grabbing hold of Mulder's hand with both of hers Scully looked at his face. "Mulder," she whispered. "I know where you are. I have been there. I know it is comfortable and safe. But, I also know that you know I am here. Mulder, I need you. Please come back." Now, the tears were streaming down her face. She pressed her face against his body and fell asleep in next to Mulder's bed.

That is where Skinner found her the following morning and every other morning of the week. It was all he could do to get her to shower and change clothes. She wouldn't leave the hospital and she would barely leave the room. Finally, four days after Mulder was admitted to the hospital, something changed.


	2. And Gravity Wants to Bring Me Down

Okay so on to chapter two. With Mulder waking back up he and Scully face concerns about his health. I borrowed a good deal of the dialogue when Mulder first makes up from DeadAlive. I couldn't help it, I love their interactions in that scene. Again, I own nothing and please review.

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And Gravity Wants to Bring Me Down

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Scully was sitting in her chair, holding his hand, and talking to him. She was talking about the baby and that she thought the kid would be really active based on how much it moved. Her hand was gripping Mulder's, when she felt it shift. Her eyebrows lifted and she turned her eyes from his face to their interlocked hands. This time she saw it, his hand moved. Her breath caught in her throat and it took effort for her to say his name. "Mulder?" she questioned staring back at his face. His eyes open slowly and he studied her. "Hi," she whispered afraid to break the spell. She waited for him to say something, anything.

"Who are you?" he asked his voice hoarse. Scully felt her heart break and her breath stop. Then he smiled.

She felt her breath return and her heart flutter. "Oh my god, don't do that to me." He just looked at her. She could tell he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. She knew because, she felt the same way.

As she ran her hand across his forehead brushing his hair aside, he asked, "Anybody miss me?"

With a slight laugh she pressed her head against his chest. She whispered, "If you ever do that to me again…" He squeezed her hand, his promise communicated in the simple motion.

Sleep came much easier to Scully that night. However, Mulder lie awake watching her sleep. He had no cognitive memory of anything after being in the Oregon forest with Skinner; he had slight impressions of what had happened. The one thing he knew for certain was that he had been thinking about her the entire time he was gone and now she was right here. He wondered why it was still hard to say what he was feeling.

He watched her sleep. Her chair was pulled right next to his bed. She was stretched out with her head resting against the back of the chair and her feet up on the edge of the bed. She stirred slightly and mumbled something. She was dreaming. Unable to resist the urge to comfort her, Mulder reached out and brushed hair from her face, running his hand down the side of her face. He smiled when he felt her lean into his touch. Removing his hand he leaned back into the bed and settled in, not to sleep, but to watch her. He had missed enough as it was.

Scully woke up to morning sun streaming in the window and across her face. As she opened her eyes and blinked to adjust to the light, she saw that Mulder was awake. "Did you sleep at all?" she asked worried.

Knowing that the truth would only intensify her concern, he lied, "Yeah, enough."

"Good, how are you feeling?" she asked. She stood up from the chair and started to examine him.

"I'm fine, Scully," he replied, gently redirecting her to the chair. "I promise. I feel fine."

"Has the doctor been in yet this morning?" She asked, getting back up and moving towards the door.

"Not yet." He didn't really care what the doctor said. He knew he was okay. He actually felt better than he had in a long time, even since before he was taken. "Scully, come back and sit down. I would rather talk to you than the doctor."

"Mulder, I don't know anything about your medical conditions, they wouldn't let me be a part of your exams."

"That wasn't what I meant. I just want to talk to you. Tell me about what has happened since…" Mulder trailed off as Scully sat back down on the edge of his bed. She filled him in on John Doggett, some of their cases, and their search for him. What she most wanted to tell him, she couldn't seem to get out. She had no idea how to tell him about the baby. As she was debating how to begin the conversation, the doctor came into the room.

"Agent Mulder, how are you feeling this morning?" The doctor asked looking over Mulder's chart.

"I feel good, ready to go home."

"Mulder," Scully said apprehensively. "You were unconscious for days, if not weeks. We have no idea what you have been through; there is no way you are going home yet."

"Agent Mulder, I am glad to hear that you are feeling better, but Agent Scully is right. However, the first rounds of tests we have run are giving us promising results. You appear to be in good health, aside from some obvious tissue damage."

"Really?" Scully interjected. "His test results don't show anything unusual?"

Mulder could hear the worry in her voice. He knew exactly where it was coming from. She was worried that the doctor was missing something. "Dr. Steinberg? Would you mind if Agent Scully took a look at my chart and test results? She is experienced with cases like mine." Mulder figured if nothing else it would easy Scully's mind.

"Uh… sure," Dr. Steinberg said, hesitantly. He handed Scully the chart, and she began to flip through it. "Agent Mulder, we do need to run some more tests. Based on the information Agent Scully provided on your admittance, we understand that you have been suffering from a serious neurological disorder. Because of that history we need to do a complete neurological work up."

Mulder's attention was completely on Scully. He wondered how and when she had found out about his condition. She had glanced up from his charts and looked at him sadly when the doctor had mentioned it. Mulder wondered how she was reacting to the fact that he never told her.

"Agent Mulder?" Dr. Steinberg asked.

"Sure, fine," Mulder replied brusquely, his attention still on Scully who was back to examining his chart.

"Okay, well the neurologist will be speaking with you later. Let a nurse know if you need anything." With that the doctor left Mulder and Scully alone in the room.

They sat in complete silence. Scully was acting as if she was still looking over Mulder's chart; he knew better, though. She had read each page multiple times and he was confident she was clear on his condition. "Scully?" he asked quietly. When she didn't respond he continued, "Scully, I am sorry that I…"

"It's fine, Mulder. I understand." Her response was cold.

It felt like a stab in the heart to Mulder. His actions had seemed logical at the time. Every doctor said the same thing. He was dying and there was nothing they could do about it. He had been able to accept it, come to grips with it. Until, his thoughts turned to the idea of leaving her. He knew that the moment he addressed his impending death with her, it would become impossible. He had never intended for their relationship to reach the level it had, that was a messy situation to be in, but it had happened.

She was looking him in the eyes now and it was evident it was not 'fine'. "No Scully, really I am so sorry…" The pain in her eyes made it clear to him that it had been a mistake to hide anything from her.

"Mulder…" she began. Her intention had been to tell him she understood and that she knew it must have been impossible for him and she didn't need an apology. But then, she realized she did. She did need an apology. "Mulder, I just can't believe you didn't tell me, after everything we have been through. How could you not tell me? How could you not give me the opportunity to be there for you? How could you…" She couldn't finish; she broke down, tears streaming down her face.

Mulder sat forward and reached out for Scully's hand. He squeezed her hand gently and held on securely. He wasn't sure how to explain to her why he had kept such a serious thing from her. "Dana," he began. Scully reacted to his use of her first name. "You're right I should have told you. All I can say is that telling you would have made me face issues I wasn't ready to deal with."

Scully looked down unable to keep eye contact with Mulder. She squeezed his hand back. 'Issues he wasn't ready to deal with.' She could relate to that. She realized how hypocritical she was, being angry with him. She was keeping information from him, information he had the right to know. But, she didn't know how to tell him. She was scared, she had lost him, and now that she had him back, she was worried she would lose him all over. He had been very sick for a long time.

Mulder analyzed the look on Scully's face. Her expression had altered from one of anger to fear. She was scared of something, scared of losing him again. He wondered how he became lucky enough to matter so much to her. "Scully, let's wait and see what the doctor says after the tests. We can't do anything about it until we know more anyway."

She simply nodded and looked down to where her hands were folded in her lap. She didn't move her eyes as she watched Mulder reach out and take her hand. He pulled gently, urging her to lie down next to him in the hospital bed. He was scared and knew she was, too. He hoped that being near each other would make both of them feel better. He scooted over making room for her. He wrapped his arms around her as she positioned her head on his chest.

Scully felt more tears well up in her eyes. She hadn't felt Mulder's arms around her since the night back in Oregon, when she had felt faint in her hotel room. He had been so worried, so caring, so protective. Now here he was back, and he was caring for her again. Until he had been gone she hadn't realized how much she relied on his taking care of her. She wondered if she would be able to recover if she lost him again. Instead of thinking about it, she pressed her face into his chest and focused on the warmth of his body next to hers. He was alive and here for now.

By the time the nurse came to take him to get his neurological work up, Mulder had convinced Scully to go home and shower. He insisted she could come back to hear the results of the tests. She had reluctantly left. Now he sat in his hospital room alone, waiting for her to return, and for the doctor to come in and explain the results. He wished he had been more selfish and let her stay and wait with him.

The door opened and the nurse stuck her head inside. "Dr. Renaldo, the neurologist, will be here to go over the results of your tests with you in about 15 minutes," she said with a smile.

"Okay, is Agent Scully back yet? She is supposed to be here for the results," Mulder replied nervously. What if the doctor told him something he didn't want to share with Scully? Would be he be strong enough to tell her anyway?

"I'm here, Mulder," Scully said coming into the room. "Thanks," she said to the nurse who held the door open for her before retreating down the hallway to the nurses' station.

Scully crossed the room and navigated around Mulder's bad, taking a seat in her chair. Since the first night he had been in the hospital, she had pulled the chair forward from the others, allowing herself the ability to be closer to him. Since he had woken up, she had pulled the chair further forward, to the point that it was flush against his bed. She needed to be as close to him as she could. Having sat down, she leaned forward and grabbed his hand with both of hers. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

He looked deeply into her eyes. How was he feeling? He was feeling terrified, anxious, pessimistic, and mostly worried about how the neurologist's results would affect her. But when she asked how he was feeling he didn't want to give her any of those answers.

What he really wanted to say was the same thing that had been on the tip of his tongue since he had woken up and seen her beautiful eyes, full of tears, examining his face. He wanted to tell her how glad he was that she was there, how his life had no meaning with out her, and how much he loved her. But he couldn't. What if he said all those things and then the doctor came in and told them he was going to die soon? So instead, he said, "I'm glad you are here," and he left the rest out.

Scully smiled, "I'm glad you are here. Mulder, it was so scary not knowing where you were or if you were coming back… Especially because…" she paused briefly. When she had gone home to shower she had decided that she had to tell Mulder about her pregnancy. It wasn't right to keep him in the dark. As she took a deep breath preparing to finish, a tall dark haired man entered the room.

"Mr. Mulder, I have your test results for you here," Dr. Renaldo said pulling up a stool. Turning his attention to Scully he said, "Hi, I am Doctor Renaldo."

"Dana Scully," she replied shaking his hand. She always found it impressive when hospital doctors maintained such good bedside manners.

"Ah, the famous partner, I heard a lot about you during Mr. Mulder's exam today. The nurses told me it was hard to get you to take a break from sitting here at his bedside, lucky man."

Scully laughed as she noticed the look on Mulder's face. He clearly didn't appreciate his doctor flirting with her. "So, how is he?" Scully asked.

"Mr. Mulder, you are okay with me sharing these results in front of Ms. Scully here?" Renaldo asked.

"Yes, she is a doctor, in addition to being my partner and closest friend. Please just tell us," Mulder said squeezing Scully's hand. He left out the part about being madly in love with her.

"Well," Dr. Renaldo began. "I have compared the tests we ran today with the results from your previous visits with doctors, prior to your disappearance. I must say I am at a loss.You appear to be completely healthy. Any trace of the disorder you were suffering from is gone."

"You're sure?" Scully asked shocked.

"Completely, I would be happy to show you all the results."

Scully made a sound that was half laugh; half cry and covered her eyes. She felt the baby move and began to cry even harder.

Watching Scully, Mulder found himself smiling hugely. He was about ready to let every feeling he ever had for her flow out of his mouth, but he decided the hospital probably wasn't the best place for it. "So doc, when can I get out of here? I would really like to go home."

"We would like you to be observed longer. But, since you appear to be in perfect health there isn't much more reason to keep you here. I would say you can go home tomorrow. I would prefer that you not be alone for a few days, however."

"He can stay with me," Scully interjected, her tears finally within control. She was starting to hate the hormonal effects of the pregnancy. She needed some time with Mulder to explain things, perhaps him staying with her for a few would allow for that.


	3. I'll Never Know What Can Make This Man

Scully and Mulder deal with sharing their important news with eachother. Yeah, here goes chapter 3. Again please review.

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Oh, I'll Never Know What Makes This Man

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For the remained of Mulder's time in the hospital, they both kept their conversations superficial. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement to save the rest of it for when he got out. Scully had thought that waiting would give her time to plan out exactly how to tell Mulder about the baby.

But she was petrified as she stood in her kitchen making tea, listening to Mulder rustle around in the guest room, settling himself in. She jumped slightly as the kettle began to whistle loudly. She turned off the burner and poured the water into the mugs that sat on the kitchen counter. She noticed that her left hand had been resting on her stomach. She sighed she had to tell him tonight; she had already waited too long. He was going to be mad at her from keeping it from him for so long. Picking up the mugs, she walked into the living room, set them down on the coffee table, and sat down on the couch.

Mulder had heard the tea kettle whistle and had finished up his unpacking. Heading out of the guest room and down the hallway, he stopped as he saw Scully sitting on the couch. She was facing away from him, her head laid back against the couch. He could tell her eyes were closed and that she was deep in thought even though he couldn't see her face. He became acutely aware of his own heart beat inside his chest. Taking a deep breath he went to join her on the couch.

"Tea's ready," she said, without opening her eyes, when she felt him sit down on the couch. "God Mulder, I missed you so much. You can't even imagine how scared I was the whole time you were missing. I prayed all the time."

"Dana," he whispered. "I do know. I don't really remember anything about being taken, nothing except short flashes." He winced at the memories.

Scully had opened her eyes when he had said her first name, and now she felt ill seeing the way he reacted to what he remembered. She couldn't imagine the horrors he had been through, she couldn't bear it.

"What I do remember," Mulder continued, "was thinking about you, continually. You are what got me through it, why I fought to live through it. I couldn't stomach never seeing you again." As he made this admission he had turned and was staring deeply into her eyes. "Dana, without you my life isn't worth anything. With you, it is worth everything. I love you, so much." With that he ran one hand over her cheek and kissed her with soft passion.

Scully's brain was screaming. Since he had gone missing, Mulder's touch, his kiss, his simple presence in her life had left a huge gaping hole. His confession of love warmed her all the way through, as did his kiss. But her mind was also in panic mode, she still hadn't told him about the baby. Without any logical thought, as Mulder pulled away from the kiss she opened her mouth and said, "Mulder, I'm pregnant."

The look that crossed his face was nearly unreadable. Scully could only assume it was anger at her not telling him sooner. She couldn't imagine what else could cause his reaction.

What was running through Mulder's mind was not the anger Scully assumed. He felt wounded. He was appalled at the fact that he had just made a declaration of love to a woman who had met someone else and moved on while he had been abducted by aliens. God, if Agent Doggett was the father he was going to kill himself. Then his brain opened up to deeper thoughts beyond his own jealousy. How on earth had Scully gotten pregnant? She had wanted this for so long, if he truly loved her as he claimed to, he should be happy for her.

Still, he scooted back on the couch away from her, as he said, "Wow, Scully. That is amazing. I am really happy for you." He knew he didn't sound like he thought it was wonderful, but he couldn't completely block out his feelings.

Scully simply watched him observantly. She was having a really hard time judging his reaction. Maybe it wasn't anger he was feeling. Maybe, this was his natural reaction. Maybe, he didn't want to be a father.

Mulder sat studying Scully as she studied him. He had no idea what to say next to her. He figured he should ask something about the baby. He wanted to ask who the father was but couldn't bring himself to have to hear the answer. So instead he asked, "How far along are you?"

Scully was puzzled by his question. Why would Mulder asked how far along she was. They hadn't been sleeping together for that long before he had gone missing and if she was much further along it would have been completely obvious that she was pregnant. Still confused she answered his question anyway, "18 weeks. How far along did you think I would be?" Then all of a sudden it hit her. His reaction and the question suddenly made perfect sense. "Mulder," she said gently taking his hand with one hand and reaching out and guiding his face to look at her with the other. "Mulder, the baby is yours."

Mulder remained totally silent for a minute processing the information. He stayed completely still, staring into Scully's eyes. Then a smile teased on the edge of his mouth and he asked quietly, "Mine?"

Scully smiled and nodded saying "yeah," in a barely audible tone. She started to open her mouth to ask him how he could think there would be anyone else. But Mulder leaned in and kissed her. This kiss was different from the first one. This one was deep and full of need, with both of them rediscovering all of the aspects of the other's kiss. By the time they finally broke apart they were both searching for breath.

Mulder leaned back on the couch and pulled Scully to him. She nestled herself against him, marveling at the way the fit perfectly together, something she had marveled at when they had first gotten together. He had one arm around her shoulders. Then with disbelief in his voice he asked, "Mine, really?"

"Yours, really," she replied. Then, realizing she hadn't said it yet, in the anxiety of telling him about the baby, she added, "You know Mulder, I love you, too."

"I always hoped you did." He shifted both of their bodies gently so her legs were up on the couch and propped his own on the coffee table. Somewhat hesitantly he placed his free hand on her stomach. With a smile, Scully placed her hand over his and positioned his hand more accurately on top of the slight bulge forming on her belly. Mulder let out a breath that sounded like a slight laugh. "I can feel a little bump. I never would have thought so looking at you. Oh my god," he continued, in contented shock. "We're having a baby."

Scully felt her whole perspective around her pregnancy shift in the way Mulder said that. She had been happy about the baby since she found out; she had always wanted a child. But before it had been bitter sweet, with Mulder missing she couldn't completely enjoy the idea of the pregnancy and the baby. Now with Mulder's evident pleasure over the baby and his presence, she was completely elated. "We're having a baby," she echoed.


	4. With All The Love

Chapter 4, Mulder and Scully make up for some lost time. It isn't descriptive but there is sex in this chapter, so consider yourself warned. Fluffy, be advised.

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With All The Love

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Scully woke up warm and happy. She had fallen asleep in Mulder's arms. His hand was still on her stomach making small circles with his thumb. "Mmm," she murmured, waking up. "How long was I asleep?"

"For about an hour," he replied. "You're so beautiful when you sleep." She sat and turned around so they were facing each other. "So, can I ask about the baby?" he asked. While she slept, millions of questions had popped up in his head.

"Of course, anything." She pulled her legs up on the couch and sat cross legged, facing him. Scully couldn't help but smile at the look on Mulder's face. She sat poised waiting for his questions.

"Do you know if it is a boy or a girl? Or is it too soon?"

"Too soon," she replied, "but I have my suspicions. They will be able to check at my next appointment, actually."

"Do you want to know or do you want it to be a surprise?" he asked.

She suddenly realized this was what had been missing from her pregnancy. She had been talking to her mother through all of her decisions, but it hadn't been the same as having someone to make them with. Now she had Mulder, and the decisions were as much his as hers. "What do you want?" she asked. "Do you want to be surprised or to know before hand?"

Mulder wasn't prepared for the question. He hadn't thought about any of it being his decision. He thought for a moment. "I guess I would kind of like that surprise at the moment. You know the whole congratulations it's a… insert gender here."

Scully laughed at the way he said it and the way he gestured with his hands. "The way you described that makes it sound like a great option."

"Really, so we are going to be surprised?" Mulder smiled and Scully nodded. Mulder's grin grew. "I just realized something," he said, "I just made my first parental decision."

"Yeah, you did. You made a good one, too." Scully replied. Mulder's grin grew and she felt her own follow suit. "Anything else you want to know?"

"Um, everything is okay right the baby is healthy and everything?" Suddenly he sounded worried.

"Yeah, the baby is fine. I have had a lot of tests and stuff." She thought about telling him about the scare with the alien babies, but when she looked up and saw his smile she couldn't do it. He was too excited at the prospect of being a father. She didn't want to make him doubt it. She didn't; she knew in her heart where this miracle had come from.

"Good," Mulder replied. Then looking at her belly, he asked, "how big is it, the baby?"

"Um, about 5 and half inches, 7 ounces or so," she replied.

"Really, five inches of baby fits in there?" Mulder said in wonderment, reaching out hesitantly toward the slight bump of Scully's belly that was now completely obvious to him.

"Mulder," she said calmly. "You can touch anytime you want. It is nice to have you be able to; I like it." She took his hands and placed them firmly on her belly. As he stared at her stomach and ran his hands over her shirt, she noticed the baby move a lot. The baby had done it before, right before she had fallen asleep. She smiled, almost a laugh.

"What?" Mulder asked, looking up into her eyes.

"The baby likes it, too."

"What do you mean?" he asked confused.

"The baby is moving, a lot," she said her face beaming.

"Really, I can't feel anything." He held his hands still hoping for some sensation.

"You will probably be able to in the next week or so. Right now it is more of an internal feeling."

"Oh, so have you thought of any names? Or do we just keep calling the kid 'the baby'?"

"I, um, I couldn't bring myself to make a list or anything." She shuttered slightly. "Not without you here. I've had some thoughts though."

"Please, tell me you didn't think about calling it 'Fox' if I didn't come back. It is bad enough I got stuck with that one."

"Only if it was going to be a girl," Scully replied. Then seeing the alarmed look on Mulder's face, she added, "I'm just kidding. I'd never name the baby a name you didn't like, even if it is your own. I do want his or her last name to be Mulder, though."

Of all the Mulder smiles Scully had seen that night this one rivaled the one that had appeared on his face at the prospect of being a father. But it faded quickly and with a bit of uncertainty he said, "I don't know, the name might be cursed. The Mulder's haven't had the easiest time of it."

"I believe you can change that," she said encouragingly.

"You said you had some thoughts about names?" he asked. "What have you thought?"

"William, for your father," she said quietly.

"And yours," he added.

"Yeah, makes it simple, I guess. I am not sure if it is a girl," she said. Honestly, she felt like she was going to have a boy; so, she hadn't thought as much about it being a girl. "What do you think?"

"Melissa," Mulder said without thinking, "unless, that would be too hard for you."

"No, but are you sure. I mean Mulder, what about Samantha?"

He just shook his head. "Your sister saved both of our lives Scully. Without her, I never would have been there in the hospital that night when everyone thought you were going to die. Not that you wouldn't have come back if I hadn't been but I like to think…"

"Without you being there, we would never be here," she finished his thought for him, gesturing between the two of them. She had thought the same thing many times. Melissa had saved both of their lives, by ensuring they were there for each other. Scully felt tears welling up in her eyes thinking about Missy. So she changed the subject. "One more question before I go start dinner?"

"Um, yeah, let's see. What should we call the baby since we don't know if it is a boy or a girl?"

"I call it 'baby'," Scully said with a smile placing her own hand on her stomach. "You will find what comes naturally to you. You want some dinner?" she asked standing up.

"Are you hungry?" he asked. He was worried about her in a way he had never been before. It seemed absurd, the woman had been kidnapped, held at gun point, put through insane tests, and here he was worried that she might be slightly hungry.

"Mulder, I'm…"

"..fine, I know," he finished for her. "I don't want you to just be fine."

"Let's have dinner," she said. "What do you want?"

"Whatever, you want, as long as it isn't like peanut butter sandwiches with pickles on it." He laughed when she acted like that might sound promising. Then she disappeared into the kitchen. "Mulder, why don't you go shower, while I cook?"

"Okay," he grabbed his things from the guest room and headed to the shower. While in the shower he sifted through the many thoughts he was having, when something struck him. He mulled it over in his mind, but couldn't shake the thought, even as he stood in front of the mirror drying off and getting dressed.

Scully was setting the table when Mulder came out of the bathroom. He was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt. His hair was wet and disheveled. In her mind, he had never looked better. She found herself hoping she had a little boy, who looked exactly like him. She smiled at him and went back to setting the table. "Mulder?" she asked. "Would you grab the salad and pasta off the counter?"

"Sure," he replied and walked into the kitchen. "What do you want to drink?" he asked when he noticed two empty glasses on the counter.

"Just water," she called from the dining room.

He filled the two glasses with water, picked up the bowls of pasta and salad with the other hand and carried it all to the table.

"Nice service," Scully said, as Mulder set everything down and pulled out her chair.

"Well, I pull out all the stops for women carrying my children. Didn't you know?"

She laughed, it was amazing how comfortable and normal this all felt. Just like a normal family. Who thought she would ever have this, especially with Mulder. Years ago she had given up on any of it. Not just the idea of having kids. Mulder had never seemed the 2.5 kids, white picket fence kind of guy, and for years she knew there would never be anyone for her but him.

They sat and enjoyed their dinner. But towards the end of the meal his jocular manner seemed to disappear. "Scully, can I ask you something serious?"

"Of course, Mulder," she replied. His voice worried her.

"Were you disappointed that I am the father of the baby? I mean I don't have the most stable existence, not to mention I am kind of neurotic and you know things like that can be genetic. Plus, I don't know anything about kids I never spent any time around them. I might be an awful father." He was rambling. So he stopped speaking. He kept his eyes on his plate, afraid to look up for fear that her answer would be yes.

"Mulder," she said solemnly. When he didn't look up she repeated his name. When he still didn't look up she stood up and walked around the table she squatted down so she could look up into his eyes and turned his head with her hand. She knew she needed to assuage his fears.

"Mulder, I never for a moment was anything other than overjoyed at the idea of having your baby. If you remember I asked you to play that role before our relationship even got to that level. As for being unstable or neurotic, you are neither, and even if you are, I love you more for it. You are loving and passionate, dedicated and amazing."

She paused wondering how to truly convince him of her sincerity. "I have always wanted to have a child. But now I know that I would rather have never had one than had a baby with anyone but you."

Mulder had been staring into Scully's eyes the entire time she had been speaking. With one smooth movement he scooted his chair away from the table and pulled her up into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he ran his hands up and down her back. "I love you so much, Dana," he said. She smiled. Her first name coming from his mouth sounded oddly nice. She continued to sit in his lap holding tightly to him reveling in the comfort of him. What was left unspoken between them still hung like a black cloud over them both. There was doubt in both of their minds.

Mulder, despite being overjoyed at the prospect of having a baby with Scully, truly had reservations about his ability to do what was needed. He had spent his life focused on one thing, his search for the truth. Could he give that up?

Though, she refused to tell him. Scully had the exact same doubts. She liked to hope that she and the baby would be enough to encourage Mulder to settle down a bit more to earth. But she didn't know if they could compete with his quest and need to bring justice based on the discoveries he had made.

After a few minutes, he gently kissed her cheek. "Judging by your nap today, I am guessing you are pretty tired. We should probably call it a night. I'll do the dishes if you want to go get ready for bed."

"Okay," she stood up from his lap and headed to her bedroom as he got up and began to clear off the table. While she got ready for bed she found the sounds of him tiding up the kitchen reassuring. By the time she was changed and had crawled into bed the sounds in the kitchen had ceased. She heard a quiet knock on her door. "Come in Mulder."

"I…um… I just wanted to say goodnight." In fact, that wasn't what he wanted at all. He had no desire to leave and go sleep in the guest room, alone. He wanted to crawl into bed beside her and never sleep anywhere else again.

"Oh, alright. Goodnight," Scully replied. She, also, had no desire to sleep alone.

Mulder wondered if he had really heard disappointment in her voice or it he just wanted to have heard it. "Goodnight," he replied. But he didn't make a movement to head out the door. Finally, after a minute of complete silence, he made a motion towards the door.

"Mulder," Scully said as she saw him turn away. "Wait." She wondered why she was nervous, she knew he loved her. He had made it dramatically clear all evening. She didn't need to worry about rejection. He just turned, not saying anything, waiting for her to continue. "Stay here," she pleaded.

He just nodded and walked towards the bed; he bent down and kissed her lips. "I'll be right back," he said, before he ventured out of the room. She heard him making some noise in the bathroom, and a minute later, wearing a pair of plaid sleep pants and no shirt, he came back into the room. He crossed to the bed and crawled in opposite her. She scooted toward the middle of the bed and he joined her wrapping one arm around her before he lay down, pulling her down with him. Lying with his arms wrapped around her, Scully found herself getting incredibly turned on. She ran her hands over his bare chest and leaned up to kiss him passionately. He responded, until he seemed to realize where she was taking this. "Scully, wait," he said. "You're pregnant." He sounded worried.

"Believe me I know it," she replied. "Increased sex drive is actually one of the side effects in the second trimester, and since you haven't been here for four months, you owe me." She continued to kiss him, trailing kisses down his jaw and onto his chest.

"You sure it is safe?" he asked, an apprehensive tone in his voice again.

"Positive, I'm a doctor," she said, still kissing his chest.

"You promise to tell me if I do something that hurts you?"

"I promise, but you had better hurry up."

"If you say so." With that it was like a switch was flipped. Mulder rolled Scully onto her back and teased her shirt over her head. He leaned down kissing her passionately on the lips before turning his attention to her neck.

By the time they were finished, both felt completely fulfilled. "God, I missed you," Scully whispered as Mulder played with her hair.

"Using me for my body, are you?" he joked. He noticed her shift, uncomfortably. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, my back just hurts when I lay on it, now."

He shifted himself so he wasn't touching her allowing her to turn onto her side. She turned onto her side, facing him. He noticed the difference. When they had slept together before, or even lay down together she had always lay facing away from him. It was a slight change, and he realized that tonight it felt better. He wrapped his arms around her as she laced hers under his and up over his back gripping his shoulders. When he kissed the top of her head, she slid one leg between his.


	5. That His Heart Can Stand

And Chapter 5, More fluff, not much to this chapter but I didn't want the others to be too long.

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That His Heart Can Stand

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In the morning, Mulder woke up marveling at the fact that he hadn't seemed to move at all during the night and neither had Scully. Their bodies were still intertwined. He kissed her forehead tenderly and gradually inched out of the bed, trying not to wake her. He picked up his sleep pants from where they had been discarded to the floor and put them on. Then he headed for the kitchen.

Scully woke up feeling completely rested. She could still smell Mulder's scent on the pillow and smiled. She got up and grabbed her bathrobe from the back of the door, slipped it on, and headed out of the bedroom. Mulder was in the kitchen cooking. It was possibly the sexiest thing she had ever seen. His pants rested low on his hips and the muscles on his back rippled with each movement of his arms. She walked over and placed her arms on his shoulder, he started a bit, until he realized it was her. Gently running her hands over his shoulders she kissed his back just above his left scapula.

"What's for breakfast?" she asked getting a glass out of the cupboard and pouring herself a glass of orange juice.

"Eggs and hash-browns," he answered, turning his attention away from cooking long enough to give her a kiss as she walked back past him to the refrigerator. As she put the orange juice back, there was a knock at the door. "You expecting someone?" Mulder asked.

"Damn, I forgot to call my boyfriend and tell him today was off," she said with a smirk. "You might have to leave. We need some alone time."

"Very funny, go answer the door and get rid of who ever it is. I'm not ready to share you with the rest of the world yet."

"Don't worry, you don't have to." She walked away hitting his butt with one hand, and taking her orange juice she headed toward the door. She peered through the peep hole. "Oh, damn," she muttered. There, on the other side of the door, stood her mother. Opening the door she prepared herself for a barrage of questions. She hadn't called her mother since before they had found Mulder.

"Oh, my god Dana, thank goodness you are okay," her mother spewed as she walked into the apartment. "I was so worried about you. Didn't you get any of my messages? I have been calling and calling for days and days. I even came by a few times and you were no where to be found."

Scully turned and looked at her answering machine, the light was flashing madly. She hadn't bothered to listen to any of the messages when she and Mulder had gotten back from the hospital. She'd had other things on her mind. "I'm fine, Mom. A lot of stuff has happened over the past week. I am sorry I worried you."

Now that she was calmed Margaret Scully took in her daughter's apparel and the apartment atmosphere. It was evident that someone else was there. "Dana," she asked quietly, "is someone here?"

"Yeah Mom, that is actually what I have been so busy with for the past week."

"Dana, honey, I know you are an adult and you are able to make your own choices but…"

"Mom…" Scully interrupted her mother, but then found herself interrupted by Mulder's entrance to the living room. She figured he had been waiting for things to calm down before revealing himself.

"Good morning, Mrs. Scully," he greeted walking toward the two women and giving Scully's mother a hug.

"Fox, oh my goodness, it is so good to see you. You look wonderful. Are you okay?" she said in her most motherly voice.

"Yeah, I'm… I'm good." He said smiling at Scully. He was being completely transparent, but Scully couldn't blame him. She hadn't told him that no-one knew he was the baby's father. She couldn't help but smile back at him.

The exchange was all the confirmation Mrs. Scully needed to confirm her suspicions. "That is good to hear," she said, attempting to be delicate. "Well, I will leave you two alone. I am sure you have a good deal to talk about." She gave her daughter a hug and said, "I am glad you are alright, I was worried."

"Sorry to worry you Mom," Scully replied.

Then, Mrs. Scully took Mulder's hand leading him towards the door with her. Once at the door she gave him another hug and whispered in his ear, "You know I couldn't be happier. I wouldn't choose anyone else for my daughter."

"Thanks, Mrs. Scully."

"Okay, well have a nice day," she said walking out the door and closing it behind her.

"What did she say to you?" Scully asked as Mulder walked back passed her and into the kitchen.

"She said that we should go back to bed after breakfast and make love all day long," Mulder replied with a suggestive smirk on his face.

"Come on Mulder, what did she say to you?" Scully insisted as she followed him into the kitchen.

"She said she was happy, I am fathering her grand child," he said the same grin still plastered on his face.

"Really?" Scully asked suspiciously, raising an eyebrow at Mulder in typical Scully fashion

"Well, not in so many words, but that was the main idea of it," Mulder said finishing up the breakfast and dishing it up onto plates. "So, about the idea of going back to bed..."

Scully laughed and again raised her eyebrow. Mulder wondered if she knew just the effect that had on him. Deciding it would be more fun to demonstrate rather than tell her, he grabbed her around the waist and kissed her fervently on the lips. "Mulder," she muttered as if she were trying to appease a crazy person. "Breakfast is ready."

"Maybe I'm not hungry," he responded. He moved his kisses to her neck, and as he felt her grow weaker on her feet he grabbed her waist tighter and lifted her so she was seated on the counter. Standing between her legs he continued the trail of kisses down her neck and pushing her bathrobe out of his way, onto her collarbone. As Mulder was becoming more invested in Scully and less focused on the breakfast he had made, he heard her stomach growl loudly.

"You might not be hungry," she whispered, "but the baby definitely is." Mulder stopped his trail of kisses and repositioned Scully's robe. He kissed her once more affectionately on the lips and helped her down off the counter.

The remainder of the weekend was spent in somewhat blissful ignorance. Aside from the hour or so that Scully went shopping with her mother for maternity clothes, she a Mulder rarely left each other side. They did nothing productive and expended most of their energy between the sheets.

On Sunday night the energy in Scully's apartment changed palpably. Neither she nor Mulder spoke of it, but they both noticed it. The next morning, everything was going to change. Scully was going to back to work on the X-files and Mulder was meeting with Deputy Director Kersh. The doubts they both had, about how this would work when it came to work and their search for the truth, were intensifying in the face of the return to reality.


	6. Dream of Ways to Throw It All Away

Here goes chapter 6, back to work for Mulder and Scully. How will being in the real world affect them? Please Review, oh and I guess I should say again, I don't own the X-files or any of the characters (though that would be fun).

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Dream of Ways to Throw it All Away

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Monday came sooner than either of them wanted. They had both found comfort in their private little world. Scully was insisting that it was too early for Mulder to go back to work. But, he feared not going back would give him too much time to think. He didn't do well with out something to work on.

An outsider observing their morning routine would have thought they had lived together for years. They maneuvered around each other perfectly, finishing at the sink the moment the other needed it. But, they each were finding it difficult to focus on getting ready. Mulder was sitting on the end of the bed pulling on socks when he found himself distracted by Scully, getting dressed in front of the mirror. He had glanced up for only a second until he caught a glimpse of her reflection. He was mesmerized; her belly seemed to have grown overnight. He just couldn't take his eyes off her. As she stood in front of the mirror in her bra and panties, he could almost see the argument she was having with herself in her head.

Scully couldn't decide; should she wear her normal clothes and keep trying to cover up the pregnancy or should she bite the bullet and wear some of the maternity clothes she bought the day before with her mother. As she was weighing the options, she felt a wave of warmth behind her. She looked up into the mirror, its reflection revealing Mulder standing directly behind her. He wrapped his arms around her, and bending down he kissed her shoulder. His hands ran down her arms and onto her stomach. "You're beautiful," he whispered against her skin.

"I feel fat," she said back matter-of-factly.

"I think you are perfect and I think you should just wear the maternity clothes and show off the little b, there."

"b?" she questioned.

"Yeah, short for baby. You said I would find my own name for it. I have 'b'"

"I love it," she replied leaning back against him. "You really think I look okay?"

"Not just okay," he replied. "You want me to show you good I think you look?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"No, we will be late to work," she replied. "But I'll take you up on that later."

Mulder was actually nervous as they walked into the FBI building. Scully had taken Mulder's advice and was wearing a sweater and pair of maternity pants, feeling a bit nervous herself. As they got onto the elevator she asked him, "What time are you supposed to meet with Kersh?"

"Not for another 30 minutes," he replied staring at the numbers.

She pushed the button for the basement. "Let's go down to the office, first."

As they pushed the office door open, Doggett was sitting at his desk reviewing a file. "Morning, Agent Scully," he greeted, trying not to let his eyes focus on her expanding stomach. "Agent Mulder, you are looking better than when we met in the hospital."

"Thanks," Mulder replied, somewhat coldly. He added a smile when he noticed Scully glaring at him. He didn't want to like John Doggett, despite what Scully said. He didn't really care if it seemed childish he resented the man for being able to fill his absence at the Bureau while he was gone.

"So you have a meeting with Kersh this morning?" Doggett asked.

"Yeah, I have heard I am probably not in for anything good," Mulder replied. "I just hope they don't try to put me back on surveillance."

"You don't mind if he keeps you off the X-files?" Doggett asked surprised.

"Well…" Mulder replied, "I mind but I don't really have control over what he lets me do." He had thought about not coming back to the FBI but it wasn't a practical option.

"While you're down here you want to give some insight into this case I was looking at?"

"What is it?" Scully asked, walking behind Doggett to look over his shoulder.

Mulder observed the pairs interactions. He had been worried when he had observed Scully and Doggett while he was in the hospital. They clearly cared about each other. However watching the two now, he could see the differences from the way he and Scully had interacted at work. When she looked over Doggett's shoulder she kept her distance and her hand rested on the back of the chair rather than his shoulder. Mulder joined Scully behind Doggett's desk, placing his hand on the small of her back still feeling the need to stake his territory.

Doggett explained the case to them. A small town in western Idaho was seeing a number of mysterious murders. The victims had no consistent cause of death and all appeared to be accidental. Except for the fact, that each victim was found missing one finger from each hand.

"Loss of blood was ruled out as the cause of death?" Scully asked.

"Yeah, they assumed this was a serial killer at first but now with the unusually causes of death, they don't know what to think, hence us."

"I would say you have to head out there," Mulder said. Scully senses his hand tense where it rested on her back. They were thinking the same thing. Neither one of them wanted to be separated from the other. Working without Mulder when he was gone had been one thing. Now that he was back it was going to be borderline impossible for her.

"I guess I should be getting upstairs to my meeting," Mulder said.

"I'll go up with you," Scully replied.

"Good luck," added Doggett.

The walk down the hall of the elevator was completely silent. As they got in Mulder pushed the button and turned to say something to S. He noticed that tears were streaming down her face. "Scully, what's wrong?" he asked concerned.

She wiped at her face. "Hormones," she said. But then deciding she should be totally honest said, "I just don't want to work without you. I don't want to go to Idaho, not without you."

Mulder just crossed to her, he took her in his arms and ran his hand over her back and to the back of her head resting it against his chest. "I don't want to work without you, either. But, we've done it before."

She nodded. As the elevator stopped she stepped back and wiped her face again. "I guess I will go back downstairs. I have not interest in seeing Kersh with my mascara running down my face."

"I'll come find you when I am done," he said and kissed her. "I guess one benefit of not working together is that nobody is going to care if we do that."

Scully smiled sadly as Mulder stepped off the elevator and the doors closed. Her ride down to the basement was solemn. Once there she and Doggett went over the case files in more detail. "Scully, I need you on this one," Doggett said. "I know you would rather stay here, but I am going to need you to review the autopsies. Maybe even re-perform them."

Scully nodded in understanding. "I know, I just wish I didn't have to leave right now."

"Mulder's a big boy. He will be fine while you are gone."

"It isn't really him I am worried about. I barely kept my senses while he was missing. To be away from him just seems so hard."

"Turns out I won't be here anyway," Mulder said from the doorway.

"Really?" Scully asked, "Where are you going?"

"Seattle," he replied. "Just for a few days, they need some help with a profile."

"No surveillance?" Scully asked.

"No surveillance," he replied. "Guess someone put in a good word for me."

"Congratulations," Doggett interjected.

"Thanks, well I should go upstairs. I need to get briefed on the case," Mulder said. "I just wanted to come tell you." Ignoring the fact that Doggett was in the room, he approached Scully and kissed her firmly on the lips. "I'll see you this evening, when it is time to go," he said just a breath away from her mouth. Running his hand over her belly he added, "You too, 'b'. I love you both." With a wink at her he left.

"I think your man was just staking his claim," Doggett said amused. Mulder's behavior was very alpha-male. He recognized it; it was something he would have done.

"Uh…" Scully wasn't sure what to say. After months of not telling anyone Mulder was the father of the baby, it was leaking out in a somewhat messy manner.

"But, I guess that answers the paternity question," Doggett added, nodding to her belly. "By the way, you look very nice. I know sometimes women are self conscious about the switch to maternity clothes."

"Thanks," Scully said quickly. The conversation had turned much too personal and she was eager to focus back on work.

As the day was coming to a close, Doggett noticed that Scully had been glancing between the clock and the door every few minutes. Finally, she was rewarded by Mulder's figure standing in the doorway.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah," She stood up and grabbed her stuff. "Bye Agent Doggett, see you at the airport tomorrow morning." Doggett nodded a goodbye to them both.

On the way toward the elevator Mulder slipped he arm around Scully's shoulder and kissed the top of her head. "So Skinner did me a favor today," Mulder said.

"Really, what was that?" Scully asked.

"We are on the same flight for the first legs of our trip tomorrow. We are even sitting next to each other."

Smiling up at him, she said, "I like that favor."

Scully was exhausted by the time they got back to her apartment. She collapsed on the couch while Mulder tried to find something in the kitchen he could cook for dinner without killing them both. He knew he wasn't much of a cook. Finally he decided on tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. There wasn't much risk he could screw that up.

After a couple minutes Scully joined him in the kitchen. "I'll set the table," she said. "You are going to spoil me."

"That is my plan. No other man will ever be able to compete," he said in jest.

Scully's tone changed to more serious. "No man can," she said looking at him lovingly.

"You're going to spoil me."

They sat down to dinner and fell back into their little world that seemed to only exist within the walls of her apartment. It got Mulder thinking, but he decided to wait and pose the question later.

Later that night, after they had both packed, as they were getting ready for bed, Mulder couldn't keep the question in. He had been mulling it over since dinner. "Scully?" he posed as he crawled into bed behind her and spooned up against her back.

"Yeah," she replied tiredly.

"Do I need to keep my apartment?" he asked hesitantly. He knew that this was the place he wanted to be. Here with Scully and the baby. He didn't have any desire to go back home after he came back from Seattle.

"Huh?" she asked, more awake now.

"Well, I was just thinking. You know I really love being here with you. I was wondering if you thought… you know… if…" Suddenly Mulder felt like a teenage boy who had asked out his crush and discovered that she had no idea he was interested in her.

Scully had rolled over onto her back and was now looking at Mulder. "No, Mulder," she replied.

"Oh, okay," he said dejectedly. She didn't want him to move in. He guessed that he could understand, after all they had essentially been a couple for a total of like a month. That did seem early to be living around. He rolled over so his back was to her.

Scully was puzzled by Mulder's response. Then she connected. He had misunderstood her. "No Mulder, I meant, no you don't need your apartment. Not, no you can't move in. I would love to live with you. I don't want to do this alone," She said gesturing to her stomach.

"You won't have to," he said rolling back over and wrapping his arms around her. She also rolled over, so their bodies were spooned together once again. "I love you," he said with a kiss to her cheek.

"Love you, too," she whispered drifting off into sleep.

On the flight the following morning, Doggett found himself jealous that he didn't have someone's shoulder to fall asleep on. He supposed her could use the shoulder of the man sitting next to him, but that would just be awkward. Scully and Mulder were sound asleep her head on his shoulder, his head resting on hers, their fingers intertwined. As Mulder stirred he kissed Scully's head before he even seemed aware of his actions. He smiled at Doggett across the aisle and ran his free hand over Scully's belly.

"You're a lucky man," Doggett said. "Don't screw it up."

"Seems that my reputation precedes me," he replied.

"No, I just thought you could learn from my mistakes."

Mulder just nodded.


	7. Twice As Much Ain't Twice As Good

Chapter 7, The real world causes some problems. Do I need to say it again?

* * *

Twice as Much ain't Twice as Good, and Can't Sustain Like One Half Could

* * *

Scully was incredibly sick of performing autopsies by the time she and Doggett had been in Idaho for four days. Her morning sickness might have been finished, but the formaldehyde was still doing a number on her stomach. The case was getting stranger and stranger the longer they worked on it. Scully was having a hard time convincing Doggett to buy into her theory. She had a better appreciation of how Mulder must have felt when they began working together.

"Why can't you just entertain the idea?" she asked annoyed.

"Because it doesn't make any sense," Doggett retorted. He was standing opposite her in the autopsy room.

"Of course it does. Serial killers frequently take "souvenirs". Why would this be any different?"

"Nothing about this indicates a serial killer. These victims all died from natural causes."

"I disagree," Scully said, raising her voice.

"You, yourself, listed method of death for each victim. Looking at the list they all appear to be natural." Doggett was flipping through the file.

"You should listen to her," said a voice from the hallway.

"Agent Mulder, what are you doing here?" Doggett asked suspiciously.

"Is your case finished?" Scully asked. She was happy to see Mulder, but his presence indicated something more significant and not in a good way.

"Yeah, we caught the guy, piece of cake. Traditional bad guys prove less of a challenge than aliens, monsters, and the shadow government." Mulder smiled at Scully. "Anyway, Doggett you should listen to her."

"Mulder, I don't need you to defend me," Scully said. Mulder just shrugged. "As I was saying," she continued her attention back on Doggett. "The methods of death would usually be classified as natural or accidental but they are just suspicious. I mean why would a healthy 27 year old man die of a heart attack or a 34 year old woman who didn't drink die of liver failure? The deaths just don't make any sense."

"So you really think that there is some serial killer out there who has the ability to cause all of these deaths that seem natural but are the result of his will?" Doggett asked skeptically.

Mulder was now peering over Doggett's shoulder at the case file. "Seems logical," he said. "Death by natural causes but without the usual causes does seem to indicate something more supernatural. Hence why you were called in I would think."

"Agent Mulder," Doggett asked annoyed, "what are you doing here?"

"Just thought I would stop by on my way back to DC?" Mulder said. "Maybe I can help with the case."

"Does Skinner know you are here?" Scully asked. When Mulder didn't respond she sighed. "Well, anyway, I've had enough. I am going to the hotel. We can work more on this in the morning." She snapped off her gloves and headed for the door, followed by Mulder.

"You mad at me?" Mulder asked following behind her as she walked down the hallway.

"Why are you here? Did you come to see me? Or did you come to see if you could get in on the case?"

"Both I guess," he replied.

"Then yeah, I am mad at you," Scully pushed the door open and headed out into the Idahoan night.

"Come on Scully," Mulder pleaded. "I missed you," he added with a smile.

Scully felt her heart melt a little bit and when the baby kicked she knew she was done for. "Fine, come on back to my hotel with me. But you better go home tomorrow."

"Promise," Mulder replied catching up with her and putting his arm around her shoulders. "You want me to drive? I would guess little 'b' makes it more of a challenge these days."

"Mulder I am barely showing, I can still fit behind the steering wheel just fine."

"I was just trying to be chivalrous."

Scully shook her head and climbed into the car. Mulder joined her, reaching out to squeezed her hand.

When Scully woke up in the morning she found Mulder's space in the bed vacant. She sat up looking around. He was sitting at the hotel desk reading through her files. "Mulder what are you doing?" she asked.

"Just looking I promise. I called the airline. My flight leaves at 3:20."

She nodded. "I don't want you to think I don't want you around. But, you're not on the X-files anymore. You have to let Doggett and I do our work and you have to do yours."

"I know," Mulder replied, joining her on the bed and kissing her lips. He knew she was right but the pull for the X-files was strong.

"Anyway, I should get to work," she said. "What are you going to do until your flight?"

"I thought maybe I would come with you, I'll just hang out I promise," he added.

"Fine, I am going to shower," she said getting up and heading to the bathroom.

"I'll join you on that too," Mulder replied, following behind her.

Scully was late getting to the field office that morning. It could all have been blamed on Mulder, but Scully thought she should take some responsibility. After all, she could have told him not to join her in the shower.

Doggett had called her on her way in. There was a body waiting for her and he was becoming a bit more receptive to her ideas. There was definitely something strange going on here. After all, 19 year old kids who have never smoked don't usually die from emphysema, especially when no-one in their family has ever had it. When she got to the morgue, Scully headed straight in for the autopsy, leaving Mulder to fend for himself.

Hours later when she was finished and hadn't seen or heard from him, she began to worry a bit. That was when her phone rang. "Scully," she answered.

"We caught the guy," Doggett said. "You might want to come down to the hospital. Mulder's been admitted."

"What?" Scully almost yelled. "What the hell is Mulder doing there?"

"I'll let him explain that one. I plan to stay out of it. I'll see you when you get here."

Fifteen minutes later Scully walked into the hospital and scanned the room for Agent Doggett. "Well, there is our perp," he said. "He seems to be able to inflict illness in some manner. I can't quite figure out how, seems more like your area of expertise." Scully nodded. "Mulder's in there," Doggett added nodding to an exam room.

Scully turned and went in. Mulder was sitting on the edge of the bed with an intern bandaging his arm. "I'm fine," Mulder said when Scully entered.

"Good, that means I won't feel bad about hurting you."

"Scully," Mulder began. He gave her the puppy dog look. The one that made him look like a little boy trying to get out of trouble. God help her if she had a son who looked like him.

"Don't Scully me," she said angrily. "You should be on your way back to Washington in ten minutes. What the hell did you think you were doing?"

"Helping," Mulder began. But Scully cut him off.

"You shouldn't even be here, Mulder. You could have been killed, don't you get that there is more at stake then just you now." She was yelling. She was mad and she knew she was only going to get more upset. "Go home Mulder, I will see you in Washington." With that she stormed out of the hospital room. Mulder sat on the bed, helpless to stop her.


	8. Its Wanting More That's Gonna Send Me

Here's chapter 8 with the aftermath of the events in Idaho. Again I own nothing but would love some reviews.

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Its Wanting More That's Gonna Send Me to My Knees

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Mulder's flight back to DC was long and boring. He missed having Scully to talk to. He was mulling over the decision he had made to get involved in the case. He had known she would be mad, but he hadn't counted on her being that mad. When he got back to the Bureau he was immediately called into a meeting. Luckily, nobody knew about his rogue actions in Idaho. Things appeared to be fine.

The following night when Scully returned to Washington, Mulder wasn't there. She had called out as she entered the apartment. But she was met with silent darkness. There was a note stuck to the refrigerator door.

_S,  
Have a case in Jersey, will probably be there for a few days. We can talk when I get back. Sorry I pissed you off. I love you. I'll miss you. And B, too.  
M  
PS- I'll call you._

Mulder had been called into Newark to consult on another case. This one was completely disturbing. He wished he had known the details before he had left. He was confident that he could have gotten a reassignment. Now, that he was there, though, he had to do everything he could to help solve the case.

They had what appeared to be a serial killer, targeting young mothers. All of the victims had given birth within the last 6 months. All of the women had been first time mothers. All of the women had been killed in exceptionally violent manners.

Mulder sat at a table in the Newark field office. It was three in the morning and he had been working since one. He had gone back to the hotel that night to try and get some sleep, but he hadn't been able to get Scully or the baby out of his mind. He wanted to call her and check on her, but he knew she would be sleeping. So instead, he came into the office to work.

He was compiling a profile on the murderer. He had come up with the usual that day. Now he had moved on to the more complex aspects. Something traumatic from the killer's childhood, there was something driving this man to kill mothers. Something about his own mother most likely. Mulder scribbled notes, flipped through the files. What was it?

He worked until the office began filling up with workers in the morning. By that time he was confident he had an accurate and well rounded sketch of who this guy was. He also had an insight into the connection of the victims. All the normal ties had been looked into. They hadn't given birth at the same hospitals, they hadn't had the same doctor, no connection could be found. It had been about 4:30 when the thought had entered Mulder's mind.

Seeing the agent in charge in his office, Mulder went in to share his work. "Morning, Director Davis," he greeted.

"Agent Mulder, have you been here all night?"

"Pretty much, sir. But I think I have a complete profile for you," Mulder handed the older man his notes. "I think I might have come up with a connection as well."

"That's not your job, but I would love to hear your thoughts."

Mulder smiled slightly, rarely did anyone love to hear his thoughts. "Well, I was thinking about the fact that my girlfriend and I were…" Mulder paused for a moment; he hadn't ever referred to Scully as his girlfriend before. It seemed like the appropriate title it was just a shock that it had slipped out.

"Yes, Agent Mulder?" Davis questioned, sitting back down at his desk and motioning for Mulder to have a seat in the chair across from him.

Mulder say as he continued, "Well sir, my girlfriend and I were looking into types of birthing classes, she is pregnant you see. And anyway, I noticed when I was looking over the victims files that 4 of the 6 women had gone to the same center for their Lamaze classes. There wasn't any information on classes for the other victims and I thought perhaps they had gone there as well."

"Good work, Agent." Davis stood up and knocked on the window, getting the attention of another agent. "We will look into that. Congratulations by the way."

"Thanks, sir…" Mulder began, but he was interrupted by an agent hurrying into the room.

"Director, there has been another attack. The woman is still alive. Apparently, her husband had forgotten something on his way to work and interrupted the assailant. He got away, but both the husband and woman are at the hospital so we can get statements." The young agent spewed out, barely taking a breath.

"Agent Mulder, why don't you join Agent Ramirez and go interview the victim and her husband. I will get some other agents looking into the Lamaze class angle."

An hour later, Mulder found himself at the hospital trying to take a statement from a very distraught husband. The man wouldn't take his eyes off his unconscious wife. "I just don't know what I would do without her," the man kept saying.

"Mr. Mahon, I realize this is difficult but I just need some information from you."

"What else can you need, I described what happened and the guy who attacked her. That is all I can tell you."

"I need to ask you some questions about your child and his or her birth and your wives pregnancy."

"Why?" Mr. Mahon asked annoyed.

"It might have some relevance. While your wife was pregnant with your son or daughter did she take any Lamaze or birthing classes?"

"We had a son," Mr. Mahon said somewhat distractedly. "She took a class at the Riverview center."

"Thank you, sir," Mulder said. He picked up his phone to call Director Davis, as a nurse came into the room. She was carrying the baby.

"Mr. Mahon, we checked your son out he appears to be fine. You can take him if you want." Mulder smiled looking at the small boy.

"Can you just keep him in the nursery or something?" Mr. Mahon asked. He barely looked at the baby.

"We can, if that is what you want," the nurse replied. When Mr. Mahon nodded she left the room.

"You don't want to take your son?" Mulder asked. As soon as he said it he knew he had crossed a line. It was none of his business what the man did with his child.

"No," Mahon replied. "My wife, she is the perfect mother. She always wanted children. I'm still not sure how to do this. I definitely can't do it without her."

Mulder mind began to turn. "Well," he said, placing a hand on Mr. Mahon's shoulder. "I hope your wife is okay." With one last look at the woman in the hospital bed he left the room. He made the call to Director Davis, who said that they were putting together a list of people of interest from the Riverview Center for Women. On his way out of the hospital Mulder stopped at the nurses' station.

"Can I help you sir?" the nurse who had brought the baby into the room asked.

"Yeah, I was just wondering about Mrs. Mahon's condition?"

"We aren't too optimistic, actually," the nurse replied sadly. "It is too bad, too. That baby doesn't seem to have much of a parent in the father."

"Maybe, he just needs time," Mulder said.

"Maybe," supposed the nurse. "I hope you are right."

Mulder sat at the field office reviewing profiles of employees of the Riverview Center with three other agents. He was eating a sandwich, the only thing he had eaten all day. Reading over a profile, he stopped chewing. Swallowing quickly he said, "This guy, I'd bet my badge on it." He passed the profile to the agent sitting to his left. The man read the file.

"Whoa, how did this nutcase even get a job?" the agent asked.

"Good question," Mulder replied. The man fit perfectly to his profile, mother issues included as well as traumatic childhood events.

They took the file to Director Davis. "Good work," the director said. "Let's go pick him up."

"Do you want me to come, sir?" Mulder asked.

"No, Agent Mulder," he replied. "Judging by this guy's history this one will probably be dangerous. I would guess that girlfriend of yours would rather you watch your back."

Mulder sat down at a desk while a number of agents headed out of the office. After awhile, he started to get antsy. He began to think about the Mahon's and stood up to go to the hospital.

What Mulder found when he reached the hospital was devastating. Mr. Mahon was sitting by his wife's hospital bed, which was now empty with only a fitted sheet on it. He was just staring at it, tears running down his face. Mulder entered quietly and approached the grieving man. Reaching out, he placed a hand on Mr. Mahon's shoulder. "I am so very sorry for your loss," he said quietly.

Mr. Mahon didn't respond. In fact he didn't say or do anything for an exceptionally long time. Finally, as the nurse entered the room once again with the baby in her arms, Mr. Mahon reacted. "Get him out of here," he snapped at the nurse. "I can't handle this."

Initially, Mulder thought the man was referring to him and began to go. But then he noticed the nurse looking down sorrowfully at the baby. The realization hit him. He followed the nurse out of the room. She was about ten feet ahead of him on the journey down the hallway. "Nurse," he called out. She stopped. "He won't see the baby?"

"He took him for awhile a few hours ago, just after. But after about five minutes he came back out and gave him back to me. He said that his life was conducive to a child, it was supposed to be his wives concern." She looked sad. "Can you imagine? The baby needs some love. I would hold him all day, but I have a job I need to do."

Mulder joined her in looking down at the small child. "Could I take him for a moment?" he asked. He wasn't sure of hospital policy, but it seemed like since he had no-one. "I am an FBI agent." Like that made a difference. But the nurse seemed to consider it.

"I suppose, perhaps you could try and get across to his father," she said.

Mulder took the baby and sat down in the waiting area. He looked down at the child now squirming in his arms. He reached out with one hand and touched the baby's little fingers. He baby grabbed a hold of Mulder's finger tightly. His heart broke for this baby. His mother had been ripped away from him and his father couldn't be bothered to care for him. Mulder wondered what could be so important in the man's life that he couldn't make his child a priority. Suddenly, realization sunk in.

With determination, Mulder stood up and walked back into the hospital room. "Mr. Mahon," he said authoritatively, approaching the man. "This is your son. He is five months old and has already lost his mother. If you don't get it together he won't have a father either and you will be sentencing him to a life of misery, the kind of life that can lead someone to become the kind of monster who stole your wife from you."

Mr. Mahon looked shocked at being spoken to in the manner Mulder was. Mulder continued, "I am very sorry that you have lost your wife. I know that must be an unbelievable kind of pain. But if you aren't careful you are going to lose the best thing you have and your connection to her. Your son is innocent and prefect and vulnerable. And he needs you to be there for him." With that Mulder placed the baby into his father's arms and walked out of the hospital.


	9. Gravity Has Taken Better Men Than Me

Last Chapter. That is all I am saying.

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Gravity Has Taken Better Men Than Me, How Can That Be?

* * *

That night when Mulder walked into the apartment it was cloaked in darkness. "Scully," he called out softly. Looking around he noticed light shining out from under the door of the bedroom. He approached the doorway quietly; he didn't hear any noises and realized she might have been sleeping. He didn't want to wake her, he just wanted to check and make sure she was okay. When he got to the doorway he heard her sniffling. Was she crying?

Scully had lain down with the intention of resting for a few minutes. She was completely exhausted, but once she had gotten into bed her mind began sifting through the last couple weeks. Initially, she had been focused on how excited she was to have Mulder back. Her thoughts had shifted to the possibility of losing him again. Then she began to think about the probability of losing him. Mulder was single minded, he always had been. If it wasn't an X-file he was blind to it. He had proven so with his actions in Idaho. Despite the reassurance she had given herself and him that he would be a wonderful father, she now doubted his ability to not put work first. Could she and a baby compete with his life crusade for the truth? Could she even ask him to give it up? If she did would he? Or would he try to have both and end up being taken from her anyway? As these thoughts ran through her mind she had burst into tears. She hugged the pillow to her chest and cried harder than she had in a long time. Then, she heard a noise at the door.

"Scully?" Mulder asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed behind her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Mulder," she replied, mostly out of habit.

"If you were fine you wouldn't be crying," he said matter-of-factly. "What's wrong?"

"Probably just hormones," Scully replied wiping the tears from her face.

"That book you have on pregnancy said that hormones could cause mood swings but that usually there was something behind the emotion in the first place," Mulder recited, glad he had read the book some. "Do you want to tell me why you are crying?"

Scully just shook her head. She didn't want to tell him; she felt guilty. Mulder didn't deserve her doubt, he had just been himself. She knew who he was before she got into this. She had always been able to trust him before. Why should now be any different?

"Come on Scully?" he pleaded. "Did I do something wrong?" She shook her head again. "Why won't you tell me?"

"You'll hate me for what I was thinking," she admitted.

"I could never hate you," Mulder said reassuringly. "Just tell me."

"I was just worried that you might…" Scully began but she couldn't finish her sentence. Suddenly her voice became wracked with sobs again and her entire body shook as she buried her head in her pillow.

Mulder sat down on the bed closer to her. He tried to figure out what thoughts might be running through her head. His first instinct was that she was worried he would be taken away again, but that didn't make any sense. Why would she have said he would hate her for what she had been thinking? She must have been thinking about something he would do. Something within his control, not forced upon them from a higher source. She must have been worried about something he would do to her, to her and the baby. He leaned forward brushing her hair from her face; it stuck to her cheek with tears. Then he thought back to their last conversation in Idaho.

"Scully," he whispered her last name in a way that made it sound more intimate than her first name, rather than less. "Do you think I am going to let you down? I know I am not the most stable person in the world but, I swear…" He stopped, thinking of just how to offer up this promise.

Scully interrupted his thoughts, "Mulder, I don't want you to think I don't trust you. I do with all my heart. I just worry that…"

"Scully you can say it, I promise I won't get mad," Mulder wondered if he really could make such a promise, but at this point he knew they had to work through whatever fear Scully was holding on to.

"I worry that we won't be enough for you," she finally spit the words out. "Your work, your life, has been a search for the truth. That search is too dangerous to bring a baby into. But, I can't ask you to give it up. Not when it is so important to you."

Mulder listened intently to the words now speeding out of Scully's mouth. Her fears were completely justified. They had been the same ones haunting him, since she told him she was pregnant. He had doubted if he could do this, really do it. Especially after Idaho, he had known he shouldn't have been there, shouldn't have gotten involved in the case. But he was like an addict. He couldn't help himself.

Then there had been this case in Jersey, looking at that baby, helpless and so dependent on someone, the baby with the father who couldn't give up his own needs to care for his son. Mulder wasn't going to be that man. He was going to make Scully and the baby priorities in his life. He loved his child and Scully. There was no greater truth. He just needed to figure out how to explain how he felt to Scully.

"Scully," he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion. "Do you remember the night in the hotel in Oregon? When you weren't feeling well?" It occurred to him that she must have been feeling the first effects of the pregnancy that night. He had been so scared that her cancer had come back. It was a defining moment in his life, when he discovered that she meant more to him than anything else, more than any case, more than any justice, more than any truth.

"Yeah," Scully replied, in tear laced words. "What about it?"

"Do you remember what I told you, as we lay in the bed? About how there was more to life and there had to be an end sometime?"

"Yeah," Scully barely whispered the word that time.

"Maybe, this is that moment for both of us." Scully couldn't respond verbally, she simple nodded more tears streaming down her face. Mulder lay down on the bed behind her and wrapped his arms around her lying on hand on her stomach. He ran his hand over her belly and kissed her cheek. The he let out a laugh, a huge smile appearing on his face.

"What?" Scully asked turning her head to look at him.

"I felt the baby move," Mulder said with another big smile. He leaned up a bit and kissed her lips passionately.


End file.
